Have you ever asked yourself the question: "What is a name"? What does a name mean and does it relate to, or describe, anything or anyone? Does an individual live up to the meaning of his or her name? Can you imagine a world without names? How difficult would it be to relate certain characteristics of a person to their identity if they didn’t have a name?
An individual begins with a name at birth and more names are added as he or she ages. The names that others call us can carry meanings such as who we are or what we believe in or stand for and can include other descriptive words. They can show positive or negative connotations and as a result, shape us and our identity. A name can alter one’s identity in the minds of others and can label the individual in both good and bad ways. It's a big plus in life to be identified with a name having a positive connotation. Through the process of naming, as my names become more specific, I began to live up to their meanings, which resulted in the development of my identity.
Between five to nine years of age, I lived on the streets of Ulyanovsk, Russia with a well-known name, "Hey". It was difficult to accept that I wasn’t called by my birth name. However, I was pleased to be called "Hey" rather than not be called at all. My biological mom rarely called me by my birth name. I considered myself as nothing and “Hey” was the name to which I responded. I lived up to that name by acting like a nobody by not getting involved with anyone and never being open to friendships. To be somebody was too difficult to live up to and it had larger expectations. As a nobody, I went by the name “Hey” and I saw my personality change from being the outgoing child I had been when my family was together to a shy, quiet kid and eventually, a total introvert. However, the process of shaping my identity did not stop with the name “Hey” because soon, I had a new one.
My identity continued to be shaped with the arrival of my next name, “Orphan”, which began seven years ago, at the age of twelve, in a Russian orphanage. I soon found it was no better than “Hey” because the “Orphan” label has a lot of negative meanings and is given to every child when they arrive at an orphanage. Even though I did not want that name to be related to me, I had no choice and, in addition, I could not do anything to avoid being called by it. I was told that I would be called “Orphan” until I left the orphanage. Shortly after obtaining this name, I also learned that as a Russian orphan, I was viewed by other people as a bad person and it also meant that I did not deserve anything. Adults and kids with families, living outside the orphanage treated me like I was a bad child who had not listened to his parents and therefore decided that was the reason that I ended up in the orphanage.
My life continued with everyday prejudice, judgments and criticisms made by the people both on the outside of the orphanage and working within it… my “caregivers”. At first, I was afraid to go out into the public environment and get involved in activities like normal children did. I feared I would not be accepted for who I was, since I carried the label of “Orphan”. However, being an orphan still meant that I had no future because kids must leave the orphanage at sixteen years old and end up on the streets with no one's support and that is the only future presented to orphans. Therefore, my life, while labeled as an orphan, was challenging but it helped shape my identity and my destiny. Living with the negative name of “Orphan” fueled my ambition to express only positive characteristics and actions which shaped me and became proof of my own identity to others. I tried my best to show everybody I was a good boy, hoping I would have a chance to fit in without rejection. I wanted to be unique and did not want to be rejected and eventually end up back on the streets since the life of as an “Orphan” was better than what I had experienced in the past.
I will leave you at this; what are your labels and how do you overcome and be positive about it?
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